Best Short Jokes of the Week
2011-11-08
|
I won $2 million on the lottery this weekend so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.
Now I have $1,999,999.75.
Drugs don't ruin your career.
Drug tests do.
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone.
I have a mate who has seen every episode of Top Gear 137 times.
Dave.
My wife told me to get our ginger son ready for his first day at school.
So I punched him in the face and stole his dinner money.
Respect your elders. They made it through school without Google or Wikipedia.
"It's not you, it's me."
I hate sorting photos with my twin brother.
I always wear noise canceling headphones when I masturbate.
It sounds ridiculous, but I got tired of hearing people yell at me on the bus.
I went to see my doctor about my sex addiction today.
"Right, lie on the bed and take your underwear off."
She said, "I beg your pardon?"
What do you call a dead prostitute?
Free.
Nicest way to let someone know their breath stinks?
'Well I'm bored, let's go brush our teeth.'
After watching a few zombie films I've come to the conclusion that I would be a cameraman in the event of a zombie-apocalypse.
They never seem to attack them.
I visited a real graveyard this Halloween.
I logged back into Google Plus.
The bra section. The only place in the world where you fail if you get an A.
Sex with me is like an opera.
Not really sure what's going on, and it ends with a fat bird screaming really loud. I like this! This is poor. Edit this
a
0
1
Leave a Comment