New Year's Resolution
2011-12-30
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I've thought long and hard, and have decided on my New Year's resolution.
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My new years resolution this year will be to smoke less than ten cigarettes a day.
I thought my wife would be proud, but she just pointed out that I don't currently smoke at all.
I made a new year's resolution to stop being so optimistic about everything.
I'm 100% sure I can do it!
For my New Year's Resolution, I have decided to only smoke after sex.
If 2011 is anything to go by, I've quit.
My New Year's resolution is to stay at least 50m away from parks and schools.
Apparently.
My New Year's resolution is to stop leaving things so late.
New Year's resolution - Date more models.
Revised - Date more.
Revised again - Get a date.
Revised one last time - Stop crying whilst masturbating.
For my New Year's resolution, I've decided to listen more to women, be more considerate and encourage them to show their true feelings.
Because, apparently, that's the best way to get a fuck.
A dog's New Year's Resolution:
I will not chase that stick unless I actually see it leave his hand!
Keeping up with my new year's resolution, I've been dry for five weeks now.
It's really not too difficult getting up for a piss in the night.
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