Valentine's Day Jokes
2012-02-14
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For fuck's sake, what a mess to sort out. I can't believe I've mixed their Valentine's Day cards up.
The girlfriend now thinks I love her and the wife thinks I want to fuck her.
I got a Valentine's Day card from my grandmother. How ridiculous is that?
We stopped having sex years ago.
I overheard my girlfriend on the phone to her pal saying she wants to get engaged on Valentine's Day.
I hope she finds someone nice.
I gave blood today. I know it's not the best gift to give my wife for Valentine's Day.
But it came from the heart.
My girlfriend just came to bed with a bald pussy for Valentine's Day.
I don't know whether to thank her or the cancer.
Last year, on Valentine's Day, my fiancée of five years bought me a lottery ticket and I won £6.2 million.
I wonder what she's doing nowadays.
The wife said she's not wanting much for Valentine's Day.
She said, "Just some chocolates and a few little surprises will do me."
Kinder Eggs it is then.
I've just bought my girlfriend a present for Valentine's Day.
I can't believe how expensive chocolate is nowadays.
17p for a Freddo is a fucking disgrace.
Remember, ladies, that nothing says "I love you" to your boyfriend this Valentine's Day more than agreeing to take it up the arse.
On my birthday, I get a blowjob.
On our anniversary, I get a blowjob.
On valentine's day, I get a blowjob.
At xmas, I get a blowjob.
So at every major celebratory occasion, I get a blowjob.
I flop my cock out at the mother-in-law's funeral and all of a sudden I'm insensitive.
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